Owen had always had a good and normal life growing up, playing for a club baseball team, becoming a green belt in jiu jitsu, and finding what he thought was the girl of his dreams (at least what he thought was the girl of his dreams in his eighth grader mind). Owen was a rather spontaneous kid, he was always flying through the halls and the teachers could never catch a break from him. Many people found Owen to be a people pleaser who was friendly to everyone, not friends with everyone. But there was something off about him. It was like there was some sort of darkness that followed him, but no one could put their finger on it.
Owen found solace in going to his grandmother Nini’s house. Nini wasn’t the run of the mill grandmother. She didn’t spoil you by making cookies or stuffing you till you were about to explode, but she spoiled you by passing on her wisdom. Owen and Nini would talk for hours about girls at school who would pick on him and how to handle it, how to forgive someone, and how to turn the other cheek when someone wronged him. Owen found great comfort in having a confidant who was always there for him and would listen without interrupting. Nini was like a pain killer not in the way that she would make you forget about it rather she would talk to you about it and that was something that Owen loved.
When Owen wasn’t at Nini’s place he struggled. Owen was tired of being someone he wasn’t at school but he didn’t want that to show because he was scared. Owen had been playing a character for so long he forgot who he was. It felt like he didn’t know where he was, but he knew what was there. It also didn’t help that some of the girls at his school constantly got under his skin, putting him in a position where he felt that everyday he went to school he would have to defend himself from them. He pretended to not care, but inside it hurt him.
One school morning as Owen was walking down the stairs to get his breakfast he was greeted by two cold pairs of eyes staring back at him. He could tell there was something wrong, he could feel it. Then, in the midst of the silence, his father uttered words that Owen wished he’d never hear in his entire life. Words that he would remember for a long time to come. “Son,” he said in a somber tone, “Your grandmother had passed away last night.” As quickly as he had run up the stairs he ran back upstairs with a million thoughts going in and out of his brain.
For the next few days Owen went to school and acted like nothing had happened, but everyday he tried to deny it; it felt like the same pain had come back to haunt him. Everyday more of his true colors shone through. People started to notice Owen’s behavior, but no one wanted to ask if he was okay because they were scared of being rude or themselves being judged, so they kept to themselves. But all Owen wanted was someone to talk to so that he wouldn’t feel that he was by himself anymore. He didn’t ask for any help as he was scared of the thought of people thinking that he was weak and not looking up to him so he didn’t say anything instead, he bottled up all his emotions and pretended like they didn’t exist.
Owen felt that he had lost all sense of direction. Without someone like Nini, he felt like nothing was going his way and he felt empty inside. After a few days had gone by and he had some time to be alone and think he realized he wasn’t sad, but instead he was numb. Every time something would happen he wouldn’t be glad, sad, or feel emotion. Nothing anyone would have said wouldn’t have meant anything to him and he couldn’t find any joy in living anymore, just an endless cycle of existence.
At this point Owen was wearing his emotions on his sleeve; some judged, some laughed, and some didn’t even care. Owen thought to himself, “If others dont care about me, why should I even care for myself?” So by those words he lived, he stopped caring, he didn’t care about school friends, sports, or his love. But he didn’t care, at this point he was feeling so down and so out of it that he wanted out of life. He didn’t want to do it to prove anything or to make the people who judged feel bad, but because he had no sense of direction and what he thought was nothing to live for. All he wanted was someone to care, but to him no one seemed to.
The next day as Owen walked through the halls almost certain that this was his last day he was stopped by someone at his school, she had watched as Owen was falling apart and she knew. She could see a deep pain in him, something that she saw in her brother that was no longer with them. Everyday she regrets not asking if he was okay, so she decided that she wouldn’t make the same terrible mistake that she had once made. She barely knew Owen but still didn’t think twice about asking if he was okay. As soon as she asked, Owen broke down in tears. He found someone who cared enough to make sure he cared, and now he realized that he did.
In conclusion,we should always be the bigger person, it is never wrong to check in on someone who you know is hurting, in a respectful way. Don’t let your pride get in the way of helping someone else. And if you are hurting, don’t be afraid to talk to someone first.