One day, my sister, my mother, and my mother’s friend were chatting in front of the gate of our house. Our chat was just ordinary chat about daily life and the various worries we felt. Not long after, a woman with short hair walked in front of us. The woman didn’t smile and didn’t say anything. My mother shook her head in annoyance.
“Look, she behaves like a chicken,”
Not long after, the child of the woman who was passing by walked past us. The child walked nonchalantly. This made my mother’s friend look at the child with strange looks.
“It’s not surprising the child is like that, maybe because his mother is like that. The woman did not teach or model good manners and a good attitude to her child,”
I turned to my older sister. She didn’t say anything, but I could see the annoyance on her face. Maybe many people are surprised and confused about why my mother, my mother’s friends, and my older sister reacted like that. This is simple. They do that because in our culture, in Sundanese culture, passing other people without saying ‘excuse me’ is a pretty fatal mistake. This can also be a measure of the success of parents in teaching good manners to their children or their descendants.
In Sundanese culture, when someone passes in front of another person, that person must bow slightly while saying ‘punten’. ‘Punten’ means ‘excuse me’. ‘Punten’ also means ‘sorry’. Usually, when someone says ‘punten’, the person they are talking to will answer ‘mangga’. In Sundanese, ‘mangga’ means ‘please’.
The word ‘punten’ has become a kind of symbol of Sundanese cultural identity. In fact, we all know that speaking a language is an effort to unite a form of rules regulated by the perpetrator. So using the word ‘punten’ is a sign of someone’s high morals and politeness towards the person they are talking to or those around them.
Usually parents in Sundanese teach this to their children. This is like a legacy passed down from parents to their descendants. For example, if someone still uses the word ‘punten’ when walking past someone or a group of people (especially if the person saying it is a young person), then people will often react by saying,
“That kid is great, he’s still young but he has really good manners. His parents must be proud to have a child with such moral values,”,
Or
“The parents are great at educating their children so that they can become polite and role models.”
I believe this is a legacy that will be very useful if passed on to our descendants in order to create a young generation full of good morals and good manners. I believe that this will not be in vain if we hand over this culture to future generations.
I remember that time my mother said to me and my sister. She said, “If you walk past someone or a group of people, whether they are younger than you, your age, or of course older than you, show them your respect by saying ‘punten’,”.
Since then I have considered this to be an important thing. The word ‘punten’ also doesn’t only apply when we walk past someone. We can also use this word when we apologize (usually when we apologize for a small mistake), ask someone else for something positive, when we ask someone else for help, even when we ask something important.
However, as time goes by, this ‘punten’ culture is being eroded little by little. In various regions, this word may still be used frequently, but in a handful of regions, especially big cities, the use of the words ‘punten’ or ‘excuse me’ is generally rarely found. This is a sad thing considering that Indonesia is a country rich in culture with a cultured society too.
The legacy that should be passed down from parents to their children is now increasingly rare. I am concerned to see the culture of good manners getting depleted little by little, day by day. Usually parents always remind their children to use the word ‘punten’ as a form of appreciation or respect for other people. In fact, sometimes when someone says ‘punten’, now there are people who don’t reply and act indifferent.
There are many factors that play a role in this phenomenon. First, culture can shift and this is a cultural shift. There are also people who consider things like saying ‘punten’ and ‘mangga’ to be old-fashioned and embarrassing. Apart from that, there are also people who think this is not important at all. In fact, this is Sundanese culture which reflects the degree of moral values and quality of ourselves in giving respect to other people. Besides that, this could also be caused by respect that is fading day by day. I’m afraid this culture will become extinct sooner or later.
I hope that this culture will be further improved in order to create Indonesian society, especially Sundanese, to become a nation that is cultured and has good manners towards others. This can start from small things, namely in the home environment, more precisely between parents and children. Parents can teach their children the culture of ‘punten’ and ‘mangga’ in order to form children who have a sense of respect or appreciation for other people regardless of age, race, skin color, religion and so on.
This can also educate the younger generation to become a society that is tolerant and respectful of fellow human beings. By becoming individuals who have good manners and personal qualities, we have accepted and implemented the legacy that has been passed down to us. After that, we can pass on the legacy we have to future generations so that a social society with good morals and manners can be proud of. I hope that in the future Sundanese culture will continue to survive and develop and will not be timeless by the times. I finally woke up from my own daydreaming and restlessness.