The dynamic between a father and a son is a stretch of expectations, hopes and dreams. Every father wishes their son could be like them. Fathers believe whatever they do their son should be able to do. No matter how obscure it was, they wanted it for you. My father was no exception, he had a target goal for me and a vision of what I would become.

My father has always had a stronger liking towards my younger brother, not me. It felt as if I was wearing an invisible cloak. Whenever we were in public, getting food, or just at home he never paid any attention to me. He would carry my brother on his shoulders or ask him if he wanted ice cream, I was never invited. My brother always liked football, he played ever since he was a little kid, and Dad supported him. Dad was a tall dude with a scruffy beard. He was well over 6 feet. He had long, brown, hair. Buff. Tattoos all over. What you would imagine a mafia boss looking like. I think know why Dad always liked him better and he was more into sports than me. Or thats what I thought, I talked to mom about it,
Hey mom?
Yeah honey? she responded
Do you know why Dad never pays any attention to me?
He has a lot going on at work, She said, I’m sure he’ll get over it. He loves you very much.
But If something was going on at work, why does he still have so much time to spend on my brother? Also, why does he want me to follow in his path if it’s filled with stress and not loving your son? I was full of questions but I didn’t want to ask him because I trusted my mom, saying that he had a lot at work. I flushed it.

I was no typical kid in school, kids bullied me for not doing “boy” things, like sports or video games. The constant remarks of Why don’t you play sports? Really bugged me. The only thing that kept these hurtful comments out of my mind was the one thing that I loved to do, paint. Painting was there with me through my ups and downs. Painting is where I felt I could express my true colors and passions. My father never showed any interest in me or my hobbies, ever. Whenever I shared my pieces with him he wouldn’t pay attention.. Wishing there was a way I could show him, show him what I actually liked, what I wanted to do. But there never was, he ignored me at home. Mom was the only person in my family who showed up for me, she enrolled me in painting classes to help me succeed. She also encouraged my painting.

She was the opposite of my father, going to everything she could make it to. She was there for me, no matter what I was going through with my dad or at school she was there with me and she supported me. I always had a favorite in the house but I couldn’t tell anybody or else I would have been dug deeper in my hole. The only thing that saved me from my home was art. Whenever I was in art class I felt like I could be free. In art class, I freed myself from the monster that was created inside of me, from the bullying and the lack of attention from my father, that had created something inside of me I didn’t know how to get rid of.

When I first noticed that something was up. I didn’t know what it was, but his schedule was wide open for me. But the second time, I asked for something he said Jared, I don’t have enough time right now buddy, maybe ask your mom. I knew he had time for my brother though.
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Wow, a hello would’ve been nice, He sneered. I show you all the attention I can, you’re overreacting.
That was unbelievable, he showed me nothing.
It didn’t feel like I was overreacting, it felt like any kid would’ve done this, it felt like any kid would’ve wanted to know this. Questions flooded my mind. Why was he so on edge? What made him like this? I had never done anything to make him mad. I thought. I need to get to school, bye, love you, Dad. I didn’t know if I meant it.
Love you too, bud. It felt off.
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What should I make my piece about? I asked
Whatever speaks to you, Jared, my teacher replied. It then sprouted in my mind. I had the perfect idea, I was going to make a painting that represented my life, I had a vision, colors of apricot and marigold mixed with colors of lapis and azure. It was coming together great. The bell rang, school