Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
Darkness shrouded the landscape. Everything was black, even the lake, nothing was reflecting upon it, not around or above. The only sounds were my bare feet walking across the blades of grass and the water flowing. My feet crunched the blades as I walked.
As I approached my desired destination, I discerned from the distance, a splash! My pace quickened curious as to the origin of the sound. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I was now at the lake.
Despite the darkness, I could see something in the water. Quickly, I realized this something was rather someone. Instantly I dove into the lake to save someone’s life after throwing my phone out of my pocket. If I only knew what would happen next, I would’ve wished I never learned to swim.
Someone’s eyes were closed shut, and they looked to be only a few years younger than me. My hand grabbed a hold of their hand and I took them to the surface.
Someone didn’t respond to my yelling or open their eyes. Panicking, I grabbed my phone and dialed those three numbers.
An ambulance arrived shortly after. It parked upon the road path which led fairly close from the road to the lake. Someone still hadn’t opened their eyes. The rest of the night just flowed together.
Someone’s parents arrived at the hospital, and I was outside the door of their child. I felt like I knew these two from somewhere. They thanked me with tears flowing down their cheeks as they went into the room. I left them alone together.
I was unsure of what to do next so I waited in ㇐well㇐ the waiting room. The windows of the waiting room welcomed a new day. A new day for me. A new day for someone.
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I was laying there floating in space. Darkness enshrouded everything around me. I discerned distance sounds, was this my desired destination? Was this death? The last thing I remember was the feeling of my soaking wet body rising…
Was I rising into the clouds? I hope so. I wanted to die. I never wanted to hear my parent’s voice again or anyone’s voice again. Then the distant sounds became more discernible. They were voices, my parents actually, how ironic!
They were talking to me. They were crying. But I could not see them. They spoke of someone saving my life and that they wanted nothing more than for me to open my eyes. I tried so hard. Then I tried again. Their crying continued as I tried even harder. But I couldn’t.
Then I heard another voice. This v spoke of coma symptoms and said It’s possible I may never open my eyes again. They then said that I might hear what they were saying right now, but it was impossible to tell. “I could hear everything you were saying!!!”, I thought to myself. It took a second before I realized this was likely a doctor speaking.
The days passed, well at least I think they did, and my eyes would still not unlock. I heard a new voice that caught my attention though. Something about it sounded… familiar. They were talking to me directly. Sounded only a few years older than me.
They told me that they hope that they could forgive them, but for what? I heard two people walk in and when they spoke I realized it was my parents. I hadn’t heard their voice in what felt like forever. I tried to open my eyes again. But I couldn’t.
My parents were patronizing the other voice. They blamed this other person for all of this. Had they pushed me in the lake? No. I jumped in willingly, I knew that already. What was said next made me cry, not literally. It was more of a cry from the soul because I’m in a coma.
My parents said that they thought it would’ve been easier if I had just died.
I tried to unlock my eyes. I couldn’t.
I kept “crying”.
I tried harder. I couldn’t.
I “cried” even more.
I tried one last time. I still couldn’t.
Then I realized that I agreed with my parents. I wanted to die before, and I wanted to die even more now though. For a while, I wished to open my eyes again and rejoice in being alive, but now I never want to see again, and I never want to be seen again.
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Feelings of guilt flowed out of me as I stormed out of the emergency room. Within a minute I was in my car driving. It only took a few minutes before I was at my destination, I admit it ㇐ I was speeding, why does it matter?
I got out and slammed the car door shut. My feet stepped on the blades again. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I walked right by the sign at the littoral of the lake. Some of the letters were faded, and it looked something like this…
“Wel o e to L ke Tacoma
No Di ing Allowed”
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I felt something in my chest and loud
ringing was all I heard. I felt my eyes unlock. My eyes! I could see again! But something felt wrong.
After a few weeks went by I finally left the hospital. I had permanent brain damage. I had lost most of my cognitive functions. I just wish I stayed at the bottom of the lake for another minute. The doctor said that I was lucky and that another minute of drowning would’ve been fatal.
The other day my parents told me about the person who “saved” my life. Turns out they drowned themself, and no one saved them.
I tried to use a blade on myself, but I could barely get my fingers to move anymore. Maybe after years of therapy, I could do it. There was no rest for me. In my dreams, I only heard the crunch of the blades again and again…