As her forehead reached her overlapped hands in her deep bow, a baby whimpering struck her ears. Who let a baby into a funeral? Asking herself with a pinch of petulance, she slowly lifted her head up to discover a tiny, wriggling infant laying amongst the immaculately organized jeh-sah-sang (offerings made to the dead in Korea).

Astonished, she started to scrutinize the features of the baby. All miry with pale blue hands and feet, the baby was completely naked without a single presence of protection. A birthmark on its right hand stood out, along with the sunken dimples…

Grandpa?

She kept looking up to see the funeral portrait of her grandpa, and then looking down back to see the infant. The eyebrows that become thicker as it reaches the edge of the face. The crescent moon eyes. The hooked nose. The thin lips. It had to be him.

Before she had any more time to process her thoughts on how this could be possible, he started to writhe his arms around as if he wanted to be carried. Then he accidentally knocked over a pear neatly stacked in a white bowl as a part of the jeh-sah-sang, which wobbled and tipped over, bonking the baby’s head. The baby froze for a moment, unsure how to react to its first experience of pain, and proceeded to cry harder than ever.

***

“Remember, you have to catch the plane before it lands, ok? Ready, set, go!”

As the crumpled paper plane soared through the air, she grabbed his wrinkled hand and started to run as fast as she could. Every second the plane got closer, the more she hastened, the more spring she added to her step. As she stretched out her arm to reach the plane, a ray of sunlight shone on it –

and she lost the grip of her Grandpa’s hand.

As they both stumbled down, a dull thud vibrated through her body. Her face slowly turned pale as she stood up to see the plane landing softly on Grandpa’s back, lying down on the rigid asphalt ground. Frozen in place, her mind went blank.

Just before the teardrops that blurred her eyes proceeded to fall, a familiar warmth carried her, protecting her whole body.

“괜찮아 아가, 할아버지는 끄덕없어! (I’m alright, sweetheart! Grandpa’s as strong as ever!)”
Engulfed in fear, she started to cry as hard as she could as Grandpa stood up, blood dripping from his scraped knees and hands. Mom nodded as well with a slightly nervous face as she patted her back.

***

She turned her eyes back on the baby that was trying to reach for the pear.

“에구구, 저기 배가 떨어졌네. 가서 주워야겠다. (Oh my, there is a pear fallen on the ground. I gotta put it back to the jeh-sah-sang.)” An elderly man slowly approached the fallen pear and picked it up to place it back on the jeh-sah-sang.

Then, the baby suddenly dissolved into the air.

“Wait, Grandpa!”

Just after a second, it reappeared in front of the young-jeong-sa-jin (the picture of the deceased) as if to tell her, yes, it was him. Maybe she was losing her mind from exhaustion – maybe from grief. But she had to be sure. She stepped closer to examine the baby –

and noticed that its whole body was pale blue and translucent.

The baby wasn’t real. It was a ghost. No wonder why anyone else couldn’t see it.

***

“It has been…four months? Five months? Since we met last time, hasn’t it?” said Grandpa, as he casually sipped his coffee with a wrinkled heartwarming smile. He seemed to age quicker over the last few months.

“Hmm, seems like we are being a bit awkward here. Here, let me tell you a joke, darling. Do you know how celebrities stay cool?”

“Uh…I have no idea. Can you tell me how?”

“They have many fans.”

Silence filled the room for five seconds, but she felt like it lasted for five hours. Then, both of them burst into laughter.

“Hahaha!” She laughed as hard as she could, but it never sounded genuine.

They both smiled, pretending not to notice the faint glimmer in each others’ eyes.

***

Once again, the baby turned his head in the direction of her, and they locked eyes. An affectionate smile slowly appeared on his face.

She could not erase the thought that his smile seemed benign rather than childlike. It resembled the smile when Grandpa assured him that he was okay despite the fact he fell down hard to the ground. When he knew she was faking her laughter but laughed along anyway.

“It is time to leave, dear.” She turned around to see Mom packing their bags to go back home.

The moment she stood up, the baby’s smile turned to a frown, and he started to cry even harder than when the pear fell on his head.

“Mom, can we stay here for just a few more minutes?”

She remembered Grandpa being upset for not receiving her messages for months. She had been busy preparing for her high school entrance exam.

She remembered Grandpa’s last birthday party when every family member was there but not her. She was now busy playing with her friends after finishing her exams.

She remembered Grandpa limp on the hospital bed, barely able to lift up his eyelids to look at his beloved granddaughter once more. That was the first and the last time she visited him in the hospital.

She couldn’t leave him like this, not again.

Or…was it too late?

As she failed to convince her mom to stay longer, she reluctantly carried her bags and looked at the baby once more before she proceeded to move any further.

Unable to speak, the baby’s eyes pleaded for her to stay. They accused her of betrayal. But her mom’s hands on her were firm and led her one step at a time out of the room.

The wailing continued as she left the room.